


A bunch of idiots plus Kyungsoo

by Wonwoon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Exo being idiots, M/M, Texting, because i hate fanwars and they love each other, chanyeol is the typical dumb person in love with another dumb person, chat group, exo are armys, jongin is in love, just kidding, kyungsoo is dense, that is baekhyun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 03:14:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13494624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonwoon/pseuds/Wonwoon
Summary: Exo in (more than) a group chatSome of them are in loveAnd some of them are just dumb (i'm looking at you, jongdae)





	1. Chapter 1

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin created “ExoluXyOn”**

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin added King Junmyeon, the Park you wanna ride Chanyeol, Byun BaekHyunnie, Kim Jongd(w)ae and Do me Kyungsoo**.

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Ladies and gentleman

We are gathered here tonight

To get through this thing called life

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Where’s the lie

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

Stop quoting Prince

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

U were quoting prince????

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

@kim jongd(w)ae right in front of my salad?

What’s dis group for, seok-ah

 

**Kim doremisallaxiumin**

 

As you all very well know

Next week our beloved jongin-ah turns 26

So

I created this group

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

And you called it ExoluXyOn?

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Yep

Because it’s an amazing name

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

I agree

 

**Do me Kyungsoo removed Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

**Do me Kyungsoo removed the Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

**Do me Kyungsoo changed the name of the group from “ExoluXyOn” to “A bunch of idiots plus Kyungsoo”**

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

Where are yixing and sehunnie tho

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae added China’s sheep**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae added Oh (Lord) Sehun**

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

Not another group

I can’t

 

**China’s sheep**

 

There are days when i lay (jokes on me) in my bed

And ask myself

Y did i leave china

I’m still searching for an answer

 

 --

 

**From: Minseok-ah**

 

I created the group!!!!

I

Was

The

Father

Respect me, I’m your hyung

I

‘

m

g

o

n

n

a

s

p

a

m

y

o

u

 

 

 

**Do me Kyungsoo added Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

There are sehunnie and yixing too

Had the feeling that i was forgetting someone

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun removed Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

\---

 

**From: annoying hyung**

 

I

Was

The

Father

Of

That

Group

Respect

Me

 

\---

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun added Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie added the Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

Now that we’re all here

Y we’re all here?

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

We have to decide for a present

For nini

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

@Do me Kyungsoo

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

@Do me Kyungsoo

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

@Do me Kyungsoo

 

**China’s sheep**

 

@Do me Kyungsoo

 

**Do me Kyungsoo removed himself from “A bunch of idiots plus Kyungsoo”**

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

Now we’re just a bunch of idiots

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

Are u for real

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**From: Yeollie**

 

Hey

Wanna go bowling later?

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

Can’t

Got a date

 

**From: Yeollie**

 

‘kay

 

\---

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol created “Chanyeol’s very best friends”**

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol added Do me Kyungsoo, Kim Jongd(w)ae and Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

U can’t create a group every time baekhyun-ah dumps u

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

I don’t create a group every time Baek dumps me

I created this group because I really consider you my very best friends

And i wanted to thank u guys

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

We’re in the same room

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Clearly heard your “hope he dumps you” when you texted him

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

Never said that

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

I love broccoli

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

No, you don’t???

And y are u talking about broccoli now

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

I thought we were telling pretty obvious lies

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Do u think there’s a gif where Jongin is a broccoli?

 

**Do me Kyungsoo removed Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

\---

 

**From: Nini-ya**

 

Kyungsoo-hyung

Found this, thought about you

 

**Nini-ya sent you a photo.**

 

\---

 

**King Junmyeon sent a photo to “A pengwing in love”**

**King Junmyeon**

 

I swear I’ve never seen him like that

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

Can human skin be that red

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

I actually think he’s hyperventilating

 

**China’s sheep**

 

Y is he like that

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

Jongin-ah sent him a selca of him with a stuffed penguin

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Boiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

They’re so in love i think i might throw up

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

Jokes on you

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

???

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

I can’t believe I’m actually witnessing this

 

\---

 

**From: Junmyeon-hyung**

 

Jongdae-ya

Do you know what time did the man go to the dentist?

TOOTH HURT-Y

 

**To: Junmyeon-hyung**

 

…………..hyung

 

**“Do you wanna change “Junmyeon-hyung” to “I hope this guy get laid somewhere in the next ten years”?”**

**Accept.**

 

\---

 

**From: Baekhyung**

 

Hey, Sehun-ah

I was thinking

Can you keep an eye on Yeol?

I think he’s upset

**To: Baekhyung**

 

Ahm, y do u think is that, hyung

 

**From: Baekhyung**

 

He’s sulking in the living room now

Don’t know y

 

**To: BaekHyung**

 

You really don’t know?

 

**From: BaekHyung**

 

…no?

\---

**Oh (Lord) Sehun sent a photo to “ChanBaek”**

**Kim Jongout**

They’re so obvious yet so DENSE

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

This is a joke, right?

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

??

 

\---

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Guys

The fact that Soo removed himself from this group might actually be a good thing

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

Be careful, hyung

Kyungsoo can sense it

The disrespect

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

I’m scREAMING KYUNGSOO JUST SAT UP AND ASKED WHAT WAS MINSEOK PROBLEM

 

\---

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

As I was saying

This might be a good thing

Because I found a gift for Jongin

 

**China’s sheep**

 

And how is this linked to the fact that Kyungsoo is not in this group

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin sent a photo.**

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

I choKED

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae sent a video.**

**King Junmyeon**

 

I can’t believe it

 

**China’s sheep**

 

I’m not even surprised

 

**Byun Baekhyunnie**

 

“Park Jimin is my daddy”?

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Isn’t he?

 

**Oh Lord Sehun**

 

He’s a bABY DON’T TOUCH THE BABY

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

Wut

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Guys

We all agree that the real daddy is Kim freaking Namjoon, right

Like

Have you heard his voice

That will be the reason i’m going to rot in hell for the rest of my life

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

exCUSE ME

BUT THE ULTIMATE DADDY TM IS THE ONE AND ONLY PARK JIMIN

HE COULD CHOKE ME WITH THOSE THIGHS

AND I WOULD THANK HIM

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

You’re all very very wrong

Kim Seokjin

Do i really need to say anything else?

 

**Byun Baekhyunnie**

 

cough cough

Jeon Jungkook

cough cough

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

Kookie is the purest child in this world

LEAVE HIM ALONE

**Byun Baekhyunnie sent a video**

**Kim Jongout**

 

I’m not gonna see a video named “Kookie senpai”

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

Thanks God there’s someone normal in this group

Thanks nini

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

When we all know that title is held by Min Yoongi

God, if he can rap that fast, i can’t even imagine what he could do with that tongue

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

It’s 3 in the morning

I don’t deserve gay drama at this hour of the night

 

-

 

**From: dinosaur-hyung**

 

KYUNGSOO I SWEAR TO GOD

IT’S BEEN ALL MORNING

IF YOU DON’T TURN DOWN THE MUSIC

I’M GONNA BURN ALL YOUR TWICE ALBUMS

 

-

 

**From: Soo**

 

Yixing-hyung

I need your knowledge

 

**To: Soo**

 

Tell me

 

**From: Soo**

 

How do you say “I need to get rid of his body” in italian?

 

**To: Soo**

 

Devo disfarmi del suo corpo

…

waIT

Y DO U NEED THAT??????????

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Oh Lord Sehun**

 

It’s midnight

Happy birthday Jongin-ah

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

I remember when you were just a kid

And couldn’t even walk

My baby is growing

 

**China’s sheep**

 

Happy birthday, Jongin-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

NINI IS GROWING UP SO FAST

 

**Byun Baekhyunnie**

 

JONGIN

IS

26

I FEEL OLD

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

You are

 

**Byun Baekhyunnie removed The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol.**

**Kim Jongout**

 

Thank you all, hyung

@King Junmyeon hyung, you and I knew met in high school

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

Doesn’t matter

You were a child anyway

 

**Oh Lord Sehun**

 

Funny how everybody quickly wished him happy birthday

When on someone else’s birthday

U all forgot

 

**China’s sheep removed Oh Lord Sehun.**

-

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

Happy birthday, Jongin

You’re one of the most amazing people i know

Hope you have fun today

Love u

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

Thank you, hyung

Love you too

 

-

 

**To: Sehun**

 

KYUNGSOO TOLD ME I’M AMAZING

 

**From: Sehun**

 

I’m shocked, he loves you

Never expected that

 

**To: Sehun**

 

STOP IT

He’s just being the good friend

 

**From: Sehun**

 

Good friends don’t wanna fuck their friends

 

**To: Sehun**

 

He doesn’t want to fuck me

And he doesn’t love me

**From: Sehun**

 

*eyerolls in japanese*

 

-

 

**From: Yixing**

 

Hey, bro

There’s something you should know

 

**To: Yixing**

 

Are you drunk again?

Cause i’m not gonna accept another drunk cover of i will always love you

**From: Yixing**

 

No, myeon-ah

And that was a great cover

Admit it

**To: Yixing**

 

Yeah, sure

What’s up then

**From: Yixing**

 

Kris is back in town

He said he wanted to see you again

Said he missed you

 

-

 

**To: Sehunnie**

 

Yixing told me that Kris is back in town

**From: Sehunnie**

 

Oh

Does that affect you?

 

**To: Sehunnie**

 

A bit

I mean

I’m not in love with him

Not anymore

But i don’t know if i wanna really see him

 

**From: Sehunnie**

 

Why?

 

**To: Sehunnie**

 

I don’t know actually

Instinct of self preservation?

He’s the kind of person that can destroy you with just a word

 

**From: Sehunnie**

 

Wanna come to my place?

We can discuss this over ice cream

**To: Sehunnie**

 

And that’s why i’m now in love with you

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a bit- okay, maybe a LOT late, but heeeere we aaaare!   
> Hope you liked the chapter (hunho, my babies, i love them) aaaand i wanted to tell you that i don't know when i'll be able to edit again because i have this exam soon and i just wanna cry ;) 
> 
> Hope to see you soon and, as Always, if you liked the chapter, leave a kudos and/or a comment!  
> Byeeee :3c


	4. Chapter 4

**From: Myeon**

 

I’m ready

Where r u

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Sehun, it’s been ten minutes, where are you

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Sehun, the party started twenty minutes ago

WHERE

ARE

YOU

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Photo.jpg

Photo.jpg

What do you think, hyung?

Black shoes?

Or white shoes?

Because black shoes shows what beautiful feet i have

But white shoes fit better with the outfit

 

**From: Myeon**

 

I do not know

Photo.jpg

But i do know that these shoes will kick you in the ass if you don’t come to pick me up RIGHT NOW

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Kinky

**From: Myeon**

SEHUN

 

-

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

Hey, Jongin-ah

Sorry if i text you when we are practically two meters away

But

I need you to come with me

I want to give you my gift

But i don’t want others to see

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

Sure, hyung :)

 

-

 

**To: Sehun**

 

WHERE ARE YOU

YOU’RE NEVER HERE WHEN I NEED YOU

KYUNGSOO JUST ASKED ME TO BE ALONE WITH HIM

BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GIVE ME HIS GIFT IN PRIVATE

 

**From: Sehun**

 

In private?

What is it?

His dick?

 

**To: Sehun**

 

I’m not even surprised

This is because it’s months since you get laid

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**The Park you wanna** **ride Chanyeol sent a photo.**

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

It’s been like this for the last two hours

In the bathroom

Prepping

Can you imagine if he wasn’t that short how much time he will spend in front of that mirror

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie removed The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol.**

 

-

 

**From: loser in love**

 

HE GAVE ME A SCARF

A HAT

AND A PAIR OF GLOVES

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Wut

All this fuss

For this

 

**From: loser in love**

 

No, you don’t get it

HE KNITTED THEM FOR ME

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Hi, Jongin-ah

This is Junmyeon-hyung

Sehun is now shocked so he can’t write you back

But i can tell you kyungsoo really loves you :)

 

-

**[A bunch of idiots plus Kyungsoo]**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae sent a video.**

**Byun BaekHyunnie sent a video.**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

In the first video, you can pinpoint the exact moment

In which kim jongin signed for his death

And in the second

You can pinpoint the exact moment

In which we all signed for ours

 

**China’s sheep**

 

Idc

I will save that video everywhere

I want to see the face that soo made when jongin opened the gift

Even on my deathbed

This is the video you’re gonna play at my funeral

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

@Kim doremifasollaxiumin you’re a genius

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

You even doubted it? ;)

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

A penguin shaped dildo

I love you, hyung

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

:)

 

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

That’s the creepiest thing i’ve ever seen in my life

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

It will be the last one, too

:)

 

-

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Are you stupid???????

 

**To: loser in love**

 

?????

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Johnny was CLEARLY flirting with you

Why did you leave him there???

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Not my type

 

**From: loser in love**

 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

TALL

FASHIONISTA

MYSTERIOUS

THERE’S WRITTEN SEHUN’S TYPE ON HIS FOREHEAD

 

**To: loser in love**

 

First of all

Not my type

He’s obviously in love with that thai guy

Second

Why are you texting me we’re on the same couch

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Because this is the only way that will stop me to scREAM AT YOU

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Kim Jongout**

Guys

Thank you for the evening

And for the gift

Love all of you :*

**Kim doremifassolaxiumin**

 

Gifts*

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

Yeah, _gifts_

But i think i prefer the trip to Jeju

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

You decided who’s gonna come with you?

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

Not yet, but i have an idea :)

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Sounds like someone’s gonna use the other gift too ;))))

**Kim Jongout**

 

…..hyung

 

-

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Since you don’t wanna talk

I will text you

Yes, it’s true, i let him flirt with me

Because if i didn’t it would have been suspicious

I did it because you asked me to keep our relationship secret

No, i didn’t do it because i liked him

And i didn’t do it because i do not like you anymore

I did it because i don’t want others to suspect something

When you still don’t want them to know

Please, believe me

 

**From: Myeon**

 

This doesn’t change how i felt

It was like I have been cheated on

Again

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Myeon

I’m not Kris

I will never cheat on you

You’re the most precious thing that ever happened to me

I don’t remember a time when i was in love with someone as i’m now in love with you

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Really?

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Of course

You know what?

Do you remember last week, when i went with jongin to that night club?

Because he wanted to forget about kyungsoo?

 

**From: Myeon**

Yes, i do

 

**To: Myeon**

 

I was bored aaaall night long

Me

Bored

At a night club

And you know why was that?

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Why?

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Because i kept thinking how much i wanted to be home with you

Cuddled on my couch

Watching a stupid movie and laughing

 

**From: Myeon**

 

…never thought you could be the sappy one

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Neither did i

But for you

I would do it all day, everyday

**From: Myeon**

I really love you

I’m sorry

I know you’re not like Kris

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Hey, don’t worry

But next time

Talk with me

Okay?

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Okay

Now

You wanna come to my place?

I want to cuddle on the couch and watch a stupid movie together

 

**To: Myeon**

 

On my way :*

 

-

 

**To: dae**

 

Hey, Jongdae

Can i ask you a question?

 

**From: dae**

 

Baek

It’s 4 in the morning

 

**To: dae**

 

It’s important, dae

 

**From: dae**

 

Correct syntax and punctuation?

Must be very important

 

**To: dae**

 

It is

What would you do if a friend

A clearly drunk friend

Told you that he loves you?

 

**From: dae**

 

WHAT

PLEASE TELL ME IT WAS CHANYEOL

 

**To: dae**

 

Jongdae.

 

**From: dae**

 

Okay, okay

You have to consider that he was drunk

Drunk people always say a lot of things

I once told a barista to have sex with me

A _female_ barista

 

**To: dae**

 

So, you think he was not serious

 

**From: dae**

 

From the amount of alcohol there was at that party

Yeah

 

**To: dae**

 

Thanks, jongdae

 

**From: dae**

 

But

What did you do?

When “mysterious type” said this

 

**To: dae**

 

Nothing

 

**From: dae**

 

I SENSE LIE

 

-

 

**From: Yeollie**

 

I have a headache that’s gonna split my head in two

Please baek

Tell me i didn’t do anything stupid last night

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

You don’t remember anything?

**From: Yeollie**

 

I only remember i made out with someone

Maybe

Or maybe i dreamt it

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

Yeah, maybe

 

**From: Yeollie**

 

So, i didn’t make out with anyone last night?

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

Nope

Not that i know

**From: Yeollie**

 

Thanks, baek

-

 

**To: Kyungsoo**

 

I think i made a mistake

 

**From: Kyungsoo**

 

When did you not, hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear i do not hate Kris, i love him, but i needed someone to be the bad guy, sooo... sorry, Kris!  
> And if you're asking if the "thai guy" was Ten, well, of course he was ;)  
> As always, if you liked the chapter, leave a kudos and/or a comment! I will try to edit as soon as possible! 
> 
> And i want to thank you every one of you that leaves a kudos or a comment, i really appreciate it :3c  
> Thank you, Wonwoon :3c


	5. Chapter 5

**From: Kyungsoo**

 

YOU DID WHAT????????

 

**To: Kyungsoo**

 

Please, Soo

I know

 

**From: Kyungsoo**

 

NO YOU OBVIOUSLY DON’T KNOW

YOU KISSED BAEKHYUN

AND PRETENDED TO NOT REMEMBER

THIS IS REAL LIFE CHABROL

NOT A FANFICTION

 

**To: Kyungsoo**

 

I know, okay?

Stop screaming

And

Chabrol?

 

**From: Kyungsoo**

 

Autocorrect

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

I am so hangover

 

**China’s sheep**

 

I feel u, bro

It’s been three hours since i woke up

Can’t get off my bed without throwing up

I’m never gonna drink again

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

But tonight there’s the free alcohol night at ben’s

**China’s sheep**

 

Find me there at 8

 

-

 

**To: soosoo**

 

Can u come to my place?

I think i’m going to throw up

I need an aspirin

I can’t go to the bathroom without risking my life

 

**From: soosoo**

 

You’re such a drama queen, minseok-hyung

 

**To: soosoo**

 

Pls

I might be dying

This could the last time u can see me alive

 

**From: soosoo**

 

What a lucky person i am then

On my way

 

**To: soosoo**

 

Your like a modern mother theresa

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Byun BaekHyunnie**

 

@Kim Jongout never ever throw another party again

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

:(

**Chabrol**

 

I quote that

 

**K** **im Jongout**

 

:(((

**Do me Kyungsoo**

Not your fault

They’re stupid

The party was perfect, jonginnie

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

:)

 

-

 

**[A pengwing in love]**

**Chabrol**

The party was perfect, jonginnie

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

They’re stupid, my love, not like you

You are the most beautiful thing on this earth

Oh, and i wanna fuck you too

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

I almost feel bad

 

**Oh (Lord) Sehun**

 

Almost

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

That’s the key word ;)

 

-

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

Guess who’s at minseok hyung’s place

And guess who left his phone on the bedside table when in the bathroom

Notifications pop up like daisies

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Ops

We love you soo

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

I don’t

 

-

 

**From: loser in love**

 

I want kyungsoo to come with me to jeju

But i don’t know how to ask him

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Just ask him

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Yeah, easier said than done

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Photo.jpg

As you can see

I’m pretty busy right now

I don’t have time for a gay crisis

 

**From: loser in love**

 

WHAT

(it’s a bi-crises, uncultured person)

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Gay or bi doesn’t change the fact that your a pain in the ass

I’m now cuddling with this amazing guy, so

 

**From: loser in love**

 

WHO IS HE

 

**To: loser in love**

 

;)

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Not fair, sehunnie

I tell you everything about kyungsoo

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Never asked you to do that

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Photo.jpg

 

**To: loser in love**

 

How nice your middle finger is

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Nicer than just a pair of legs of the guy that just slept with my best friend

 

-

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

Hey, hyung

I think i decided who i’m gonna ask to come with me to jeju

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

Oh

Really?

Who is it?

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

You?

 

-

 

**To: idiot hyung**

 

I’M STILL MAD ABOUT THE PENGWING IN LOVE THING

BUT

SINCE YOU BOTHERED ME ALL DAY WITH BAEKHYUN

NOW HEAR ME OUT

JONGIN JUST ASKED ME TO GO WITH HIM TO JEJU

 

**From: idiot hyung**

 

That’s really a surprise

 

**To: idiot hyung**

 

STOP IT

**From: idiot hyung**

 

What did you say to him?

 

**To: idiot hyung**

 

Still nothing?

 

**From: idiot hyung**

 

You’ve seen the text and still not answered????

 

**To: idiot hyung**

 

Jongin has the power to lower my iq

 

**From: idiot hyung**

 

And it wasn’t that high before

 

**To: idiot hyung**

 

I’m blocking you

 

-

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

Sorry for the late answer, jonginnie

Something came up

I really appreciate it

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

So that’s a…?

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

It’s a yes, nini :)

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

Great!

I’ll send you all the details then!!

 

-

 

**To: Sehun**

 

HE SAID YES

**From: Sehun**

He said yes to your two days trip to jeju

Not your wedding proposal

 

**To: Sehun**

 

I GOT THAT

NOT DISTURBING YOU AND YOUR GUY AGAIN

Meanie

 

**From: Sehun**

 

He says hi

 

**To: Sehun**

 

Like i will ever meet him

Say i said hi too

 

-

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Hey

U free tonight?

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Just thinking to go with the others at ben’s

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Oh, right

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Everything’s alright?

You seem weird

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Just the hangover

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Hangover makes you sleepy, not weird

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

…

Fine

I just saw this beutiful film

Where a very generous but poor girl meets a rich boy

And they fall in love

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Tell me you didn’t see pretty woman

Again

**To: baekbunny**

 

Maybe?

Man i want a boyfriend

I need some cuddles right now

**To: baekbunny**

Cuddles?

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Maybe

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

I can ditch the guys

If you want

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

You don’t have to

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Not in the mood anyway

This is the job of a best friend

Ditching others to help the bro

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Okay?

I can order pizza

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

There’s harry potter on tv too

 

**From: baekbunny**

 

Seems like the perfect evening

Who needs a boyfriend when you have the best best friend

 

**To: baekbunny**

 

Can’t say the same

**From: baekbunny**

 

You can’t see it, but i’m holding my middle finger up right now

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Chabrol**

 

Sorry guys something came up

Can’t come to ben’s tonight

 

-

 

**[Chanbaek]**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

Funny how chanyeol diched us

The exact moment baekhyun texted me

Saying neither he can’t come

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

Someone’s gonna have fun tonight

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! i'm sorry if i'm late with the updates, but i have this exam next week and it's a hell of a month, so!  
> Hope you like the chapter, i will try to update as soon as possible :) 
> 
> i don't know if i made it clear in this chapter that chanyeol and baekhuyn are avoiding the enormous elephant in the room, tell me in a comment if it's not understandable enough! 
> 
> Last but not least, i wanna thank all of you that leave kudos or a comment, you're so cute, i wanna hug each of you :')  
> As Always, leave a kudos and/or a comment if you liked the chapter and see you soon! :3c


	6. Chapter 6

**From: unknown number**

 

Hey, Myeon

It’s Kris

How are you?

 

-

 

**To: Yixing**

 

Photo.jpg

I swear to god

I hate him

 

**From: Yixing**

 

Junmyeon, please

Stay calm

 

**To: Yixing**

 

No, i won’t stay calm yixing

He is truly unbelievable

He cheats on me

Dates that guy

Breaks up with him

And comes back to me???

 

**From: Yixing**

 

You’re right, Junmyeon

You know you are

He’s not even worth your anger

**To: Yixing**

 

I’m not angry

It’s just

He thinks

He can treat me like that

**From: Yixing**

Transition from sad bitch to angry bitch activated

 

**To: Yixing**

 

You know what?

I’m gonna answer him

And tell him to fuck off

 

**From: Yixing**

 

YES

THAT’S THE JUNMYEON I KNOW

 

**To: Yixing**

 

yES

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Byunbunny**

 

I JUST WITNESSED

DISRESPECT

I’M SHOCKED

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

???

 

**Byunbunny**

 

I JUST TOOK THE POTTERMORE TEST

I WAS SORTED INTO

GRYFFINDOR

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

What do you have against gryffindors???

 

**Byunbunny**

 

Oh, nothing

If you don’t count the arrogance

And the insolence

And the clear prejudices against all other houses

 

**Ohohoh Sehun**

 

Yeah

I quote that

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

You’re just being petty

 

**Byunbunny**

 

No???

I’m a slytherin

A clever person

Not suited for the gryffindor

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

So, you’re saying that i’m a stupid?

 

**Byunbunny**

 

Did i ever say the opposite

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol removed Byunbunny.**

 

-

 

**From: dae**

 

Byunbunny

?

 

**To: dae**

 

Yes…?

 

**From: dae**

 

That’s so cheesy i wanna throw myself off a bridge

 

**To: dae**

 

Kyungsoo, is that you?

 

-

 

**From: Yixing**

 

Please, let me

Just let me get it

You just said yes to a breakfast tomorrow with kris?

**To: Yixing**

 

Yes?

 

**From: Yixing**

 

God, i hate you

 

-

**[A bunch of idiots plus Kyungsoo]**

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Since our beloved group a pengwing in love

Was cruelly eliminated

We’re gonna use this one to talk about kaisoo

Photo.jpg

For you, my dongsaengs :)

 

**China’s sheep**

 

SMOOTH JONGIN

 

**Ohohoh Sehun**

 

THAT’S MY BOIIIIIIIII

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

*delighted pterodactyl noises*

 

**Byunbunny**

 

PEPPERO GAME

I RAISED HIM SOOOOO WELL

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

 

DID THEY KISS????

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Nope

Soo drift off

 

**Byunbunny**

 

*booing in the background*

**King Junmyeon**

 

If nothing happens in jeju

I do not know what else we can do

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

;))))))

 

-

 

**From: Myeon**

 

Good morning, sweetie :*

 

**To: Myeon**

 

Good morning to the most gorgeous man i know :*

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Cancel whatever you’re gonna do this evening

We’re going clubbing

**Kim Jongout**

???

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

I’ve not got laid since weeks

**King Junmyeon**

Not coming

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

Yes you are you old man

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

Too busy sleeping on my couch

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

When was the last time you got laid, hyung

**King Junmyeon**

You would be surprised

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

As if

Just have some fun with us tonight

You may even find the man of your life

 

**King Junmyeon**

 

I highly doubt that

 

**Ohohoh Sehun**

 

Not coming

**Kim Jongout**

 

WHAT???????

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

MAN???????

**Ohohoh Sehun**

 

Have to work

 

**Byunbunny**

 

You don’t have a job, sehun

 

**Ohohoh Sehun left dashi RUN RUN RUN.**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae added Ohohoh Sehun**

**Ohohoh Sehun**

Seriously, i can’t tonight

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol**

I’m coming

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

The only one i didn’t want

 

**The Park you wanna ride Chanyeol removed Do me Kyungsoo**

 

-

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Y r u ditching us??

**To: loser in love**

 

Busy

 

**From: loser in love**

 

With what?

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Remember the guy from last time?

**From: loser in love**

Oh my god

Are you in love?

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Maybe?

 

**From: loser in love**

 

OH MY GOD

I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

GO GET HIM MY FRIEND

 

-

 

**To: fluffsoo**

 

Hey, hyung

I was thinking

Do you want to have breakfast with me?

I know this place it’s very nice and they do the best pancakes in town

 

**From: fluffsoo**

 

Hey, nini

Just woke up

Give me the address, i’ll be there in half an hour

 

-

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**Do me Kyungsoo sent a photo**

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

Aaand that’s junmyeon-hyung tonight commitment

 

**Kim doremifasollaxiumin**

 

KRIS?????

IS HE MAD?????

 

-

 

**To: Myeon**

 

How stupid of me to think you would really forget him

Congratulations, hope you’ll be happy with him

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand that was late! I'm really sorry, but i was exhausted from the last exam, i needed time to recover ahahah


	7. Chapter 7

**From: Myeon**

 

Sehun

Sehun, I beg you, answer your phone

Sehun, please, let me explain

I’m coming to your place

Please, open the door

Sehun, it’s raining, i’m getting wet, please, let me in

Sehun, I beg you

Sehun, please

You know I only love you

Sehun

I’m begging you

Open the door

Sehun

Oh, great, now you’ve blocked me

 

\--

**To: jonginnie**

 

Jongin

Please

Can you ask Sehun if he can let me in

I’m outside his house

It’s freezing

And i really wanna talk to him

 

**From: jonginnie**

 

Do you have at least a jacket???

 

**To: jonginnie**

 

Yes, but please, Jongin

Ask him now

 

**From: jonginnie**

 

On it hyung

 

\--

 

**From: loser in love**

 

Dude????

Hyung is freezing

Open the fucking door

 

**To: loser in love**

 

No

 

**From: loser in love**

 

I don’t care why you fought

Just

Open

The

Door

 

**To: loser in love**

 

I said no, jongin

**From: loser in love**

 

He couldn’t have done something so terrible

To not even let him in

It’s raining

And it’s february, dude

 

**To: loser in love**

 

Yeah, let’s talk again when kyungsoo will cheat on you

 

**From: loser in love**

 

What’s this have to do with kyungsoo?

Wait

WAIT

JUNMYEON HYUNG?????????

THE GUY YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH

IT WAS HIM????????

**To: loser in love**

 

Yeah, shit happens

**From: loser in love**

 

I’m going to destroy him

 

\--

 

**To: Kim Junmyeon hyung**

 

Hyung

Actually

You deserve it

 

**From: Kim Junmyeon hyung**

 

Yes, Jongin, I know

But I really wanna talk to him

 

**To: Kim Junmyeon hyung**

 

Yeah

Maybe you’re gonna say to him the same things you told Kris

 

**From: Kim Junmyeon hyung**

 

Yes

I’m not kidding

 

**To: Kim Junmyeon hyung**

 

I never saw him so whipped

And you break his heart like that

That was pretty low, hyung

 

\--

 

**[dashi RUN RUN RUN]**

**King Junmyeon**

 

@Ohohoh Sehun I’m going home

But call me

I need to talk to you

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Draaaaaaaamaaaaa

 

**Ohohoh Sehun removed himself from dashi RUN RUN RUN.**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

Oh shit

 

\--

 

**From: loud hyung**

 

Hey, Sehunnie

 

**To: loud hyung**

 

Hey, hyung

**From: loud hyung**

 

Did something happen?

 

**To: loud hyung**

 

Nope

**From: loud hyung**

 

Aish, Sehunnie

I know you since high school

I know something happened

Do I have to beat him up?

 

**To: loud hyung**

 

No, hyung, thank you

 

**From: loud hyung**

 

Are you ok?

 

**To: loud hyung**

 

I don’t really wanna talk about it, hyung

 

**From: loud hyung**

 

I’m coming to your place with ice cream and a cozy blanket

Ok?

 

**To: loud hyung**

 

Ok, hyung

 

\--

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae created EMERGENCY**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae added Chabrol, byunbunny, Do me Kyungsoo, Doremifasollaxiumin, China’s sheep and Kim Jongout**

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

OKAY EVERYBODY

MOVE YOUR LAZY ASSES

WE’RE GOING TO SEHUN’S PLACE

 

**Do me Kyungsoo**

 

?????

 

**Doremifasollaxiumin**

 

I’m gonna grab the blankets

 

**China’s sheep**

 

I’m going to Junmyeon’s

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

Hyung

He does deserve this

 

**China’s sheep**

 

Jonginnie, your friend is hurt

But so is mine

So please

Do not tell me what to do

 

**Kim Jongd(w)ae**

 

HEY, HEY, HEY

We really have no time to fight

Yixing-hyung, you’re right, someone has to stay with hyung too

Whatever he did

We’re going to Sehun’s

 

**Byunbunny**

 

I’m going to Junmyeon’s too

 

**Kim Jongout**

 

I will not say

Told you so

 

\--

 

**From: Yeollie**

 

Hey, baek

How’s junmyeon?

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

Not fine

Never saw such such a great amount of snot and tears

 

**From: Yeollie**

 

Yeah, i could say the same

Did he tell you something?

 

**To: Yeollie**

 

Yep

Pretty fucked up

I’m gonna miss saying public compliments to Sehun’s ass :(

Goodbye pretty ass :(

You were the prettiest of the asses :(

**From: Yeollie**

 

SEHUN’S CRYING DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH

 

\--

**From: ninibear**

Hey, hyung

I’m sorry about before

You were right

 

**To: ninibear**

 

I understand it

Your friend was hurt

And frankly junmyeon’s been an asshole

I didn’t know there was sehun involved

I would’ve stopped him

 

**From: ninibear**

Yes, i know

How’s Junmyeon?

 

**To: ninibear**

 

He’s really sorry

I promise you, Jongin

He didn’t cheat on Sehun

Actually

I think they should talk

 

**From: ninibear**

 

I don’t know hyung…

Sehun is pretty sad

Man, of all the people

 

**To: ninibear**

 

Yeah, I know

But I think it’s gonna do them good

 

**From: ninibear**

 

I’ll try to convince him

I don’t promise anything tho

 

\--

 

**From: ninibear**

 

He said no

Well

He actually just looked at me and i wished i was dead

 

**To: ninibear**

 

Yeah, i expected that

Can you at least let him listen to the voice note i’m gonna send you?

 

**From: ninibear**

 

He said yes?????

 

\--

 

Jongin watched as Sehun took his phone and touched the play button. In a second, Junmyeon’s voice filled the room. “Hi, Sehunnie. It’s me, Junmyeon. I…” His voice was cracking and Sehun’s cheeks were gonna be wet in a matter of moments. “I just wanna tell you how much I love you and that… I… I don’t love him. I haven’t loved him since the time you told me how beautiful I was with my pink scarf and I haven’t loved him since you kissed me after that party and… please, Sehun, I’m begging you. You’re the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me and I would be the stupidest person on this planet if I cheat on you. Please” Junmyeon stopped to clear his voice. “let me talk with you. I hope to see you soon. I really miss you. I love you, Sehun.”   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, ummmm... that was pretty late. Like, a lot late. I'm really sorry, but university happens aaaaand yeah, pretty bad. Hope you liked the chapter, although there was a looot of drama :(   
> I love kim jongdae, i think you already know that, but i do love him and he's the fluffiest ball of fluff, i'm sure he would've acted this way :((((
> 
> As Always, leave a kudos or a comment and see you soon! :3c


End file.
